Well, since coming back from Powderburn this past weekend, and I actually realized this some time during, I noticed that spiritually, I am a "Retreat Addict." Meaning I am addicted to, and I could almost say dependent (spiritually) upon church retreats. Allow me to explain:
Pre-CBC (a.k.a. High School/High Point era) - I felt pretty content with my relationship with God during this time. I attended 99.9% of all HPSM activities (just ask Ev... she told me she had a nightmare about me not being at high point one time). I could very much see myself on the roller coaster of (Post) Retreat highs and mundane life lows. I was up and down a lot, but over all, I saw and felt an increase in my spirituality and my relationship with God.
CBC - I was under the foolish assumption that going to CBC would strengthen my relationship with God, hands down, no questions asked. I am still unsure why, but my spirituality, and my feeling connected to God almost completely vanished during CBC. Which seems totally counterintuitive, but it's the truth. I sometimes think it was the group of people in my CBC class, I sometimes think it was the faculty, and I sometimes think it was the classes, but I can never pinpoint one aspect of CBC that began to pull me away.
Post-CBC (up until Powderburn) - This was probably the darkest era in my spirituality thus far. I was so far from God, and even though I didn't like being as such, I did very little to reconcile the situation. I was super lazy and didn't invest any time into my relationship with God.
(Post) PB07 - I'm back on the up and up. I most definitely felt God at Powderburn. I clearly heard Him telling me, "I'm here. I've always been here. I never left you. I'm real. I'm here." Which rocked my world. Since PB, I've been making time in my oh so busy schedule (sarcasm...) to read my Bible and pray, and I am feeling good about the progress I am making in repairing my relationship with God.
Hello my name is Gary. I'm an addict....
Thursday, January 18, 2007
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