The title doesn't really have any bearing on anything, the song has just been stuck in my head all morning. Don't read in to it. ;)
I know it's been a long time since I've updated my blog, but I've been pretty busy and, in my own opinion, pretty boring. I'm starting to feel over -whelmed -worked -schooled, overly busy, overly tired, overly everything. The way my schedule is this semester, I go straight from school to work 3 or 4 days a week. It doesn't sound like a lot, but combined with homework, stuff with High Point (High Impact on Sundays, Small Group on Thursday, High Point on Wednesday), and trying to have a life, it's a lot. And on the occasion I do have a Thursday off of work, I never feel like I get any rest.
I got approval to get a sleep study to find out if I can get a CPAP machine to sleep with so when I sleep, I am actually sleeping instead of waking up gasping because I don't breathe in the night. I am hoping that will help curb this insane amount of exhaustion I have been living with. I don't know how I've done it, but running on empty for so long has got me ready to give up. I just wish I had a week to sleep, be lazy all day, and just rest.
My birthday is tomorrow, which is pretty cool. I won't be a teenager any more. Although, I haven't felt like one for a while. It may have been because of my schedule as of late, or because I left home post-high school, but I feel mature and independent, even if I'm not completely. Talking with a friend the other day, I expressed some of this, adding, "I know when to be mature, but that doesn't mean I don't act immature when I want to." I also told someone at work the other day, "I was more mature than [that high school girl] when I was her age, and I'm a guy!" I think I'm starting to lose patience with ... most things and people. Why do I have to go thru so much more school? Why do I have to work at Panera and not do what I want? Why do I have so much stuff I "have" to do? Why does the world revolve around money? Why are apartments so expensive?
I think it's coming time for me to move out. I don't know why, I don't have any real problems at home. We have little arguments but nothing very serious. I just think it's time for me to be independent. At CBC I felt more independent, even though we had cooks, deans (babysitters), and a laundry list of rules and curfews. I just think it's time to move on. But, earning what I'm earning at Panera, and working as much as I am (which leaves little room for more shifts), I don't see how it is possible to pay for a rent of ... any amount. As it is, I make barely enough to pay my car insurance and my cell phone bill.
I'm just getting restless I guess. Waiting for the next big thing. I hate waiting. Except the movie Waiting, that's awesome
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