Sunday, June 11, 2006


i don't know what it was, but today while i was sitting in church, i just kinda felt out of place. i just sat there thinking, "all these kids are so much younger than me" and "everyone my age here is a leader..." and even though i was sitting with my guys, i was feeling out of place. i guess this is probably something all college kids go thru, and i'm just feeling it late because i was gone for so long.

i'm going to scum of the earth tonight with david and danny, and even though i don't think i'll be making that drive every week, i might start looking around at churches. i'll probably try grace, where renee and nathan go and jason and eric are doing worship. some of the girls talked about checking out churches too, so i might tag along to tnl and wherever else they go. i've only been to satellite once, so i'll go there a few times and feel it out too...

i think a part of my feeling out of place could be my terrible relationship with God. basically, my relationship with him is virtually non-existant. i don't read my bible, i don't pray, i don't want to pray, and i just don't feel him like i have in the past. i'm to the point where, if i hadn't known and felt God so closely in my past, i would probably be turning from him. but i can't do that, knowing and feeling what i've known and felt.

i've gotta find something...

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