the human virus

There is a quote from The Matrix that goes:
"Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet."

Up until very recently, I've always kind of winced at this idea, and dismissed it as stupid. But lately, slowly but surely, I've come to see the viral nature of the human race.

I drive to school, well, sort of. I drive to a bus stop halfway between home and school. The route I take goes through pretty much empty land/open space. I drive past the old Rocky Flats site, which has been completely torn down, leaving only a mis-matched coloring in the grass where the asphalt used to be.

South Highway 76 on Indiana (east of Indiana, 76 is actually 86th which turns in to 88th), suburbia abounds. Homes with no yards, strip malls, asphalt and car exhaust fill this areas, south of 76. Once I passed Highway 76, there were open fields, sparsely spotted by a hand full of homes, each singly built, with a solitary, secluded feel to them. The entire drive after that point was a rolling sea of grassy hills with an awe inspiring view of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.

Yet, now, when I pass Highway 76 on Indiana, there is a battalion of enormous trucks spewing clouds of black exhaust. These trucks crawl across these hills like a plague, chewing up the earth, flattening hills, and making it all "convenient" for the prospective new home buyer.

It disgusts me. I can truly see the viral nature of humans and our consumerism in these trucks massacring open, and beautifully empty, space.

We are the plague. What is the cure? How much will the cure cost us? Will we have to throw off our consumer mindset and begin to actually take notice of our surroundings? Heaven Forbid!

Same Ol' Story

Once again, I find myself devoid of anything to write on my blog... And yet again, it's been since April since my last post. But whatever, it's my blog (and I'm not paying $60 a year for it! haha)

Life is... life. Whatelse is there. It keeps on going, no matter what you want. It keeps on flowing and changing, without regard for your wishes.

My life has been pretty boring, in my own eyes. I guess it probably isn't as boring as I think it is. I went to Ecuador for 3 weeks in June, I've been painting the outside of my house for 2 and a half weeks, I'm without a job, and I'm leaving for a family reunion, and I'm starting school soonish.

Life is going. Not pretty good, not pretty bad, not great, not terrible, not good, not bad, it's just going.

Welcome

So, you've found my new blog. Good job, here's a cookie.

In the process of moving my old posts to Blogger, I realized that I used to blog a lot more than I have in the recent past. That kind makes me sad. I just think that I've been very non-analytical lately. My brain just goes blank, and I don't think very much... It pretty much sucks.

That's pretty much all I got...

There comes a time in every man's life...

...to not use cliches.

But for real, this is a time of change in my life. I have so much I want (and need) to change about who I am and how I live my life. I'm sick and tired of some of the things I do and some of the ways I am. I've finally seen these things for what they are and i've recognized them, which is my first step in changing them.

I know that's pretty vague and uninformative, but that's all you get for now.

When Darkness Turns To Light, It Ends Tonight

The title doesn't really have any bearing on anything, the song has just been stuck in my head all morning. Don't read in to it. ;)

I know it's been a long time since I've updated my blog, but I've been pretty busy and, in my own opinion, pretty boring. I'm starting to feel over -whelmed -worked -schooled, overly busy, overly tired, overly everything. The way my schedule is this semester, I go straight from school to work 3 or 4 days a week. It doesn't sound like a lot, but combined with homework, stuff with High Point (High Impact on Sundays, Small Group on Thursday, High Point on Wednesday), and trying to have a life, it's a lot. And on the occasion I do have a Thursday off of work, I never feel like I get any rest.

I got approval to get a sleep study to find out if I can get a CPAP machine to sleep with so when I sleep, I am actually sleeping instead of waking up gasping because I don't breathe in the night. I am hoping that will help curb this insane amount of exhaustion I have been living with. I don't know how I've done it, but running on empty for so long has got me ready to give up. I just wish I had a week to sleep, be lazy all day, and just rest.

My birthday is tomorrow, which is pretty cool. I won't be a teenager any more. Although, I haven't felt like one for a while. It may have been because of my schedule as of late, or because I left home post-high school, but I feel mature and independent, even if I'm not completely. Talking with a friend the other day, I expressed some of this, adding, "I know when to be mature, but that doesn't mean I don't act immature when I want to." I also told someone at work the other day, "I was more mature than [that high school girl] when I was her age, and I'm a guy!" I think I'm starting to lose patience with ... most things and people. Why do I have to go thru so much more school? Why do I have to work at Panera and not do what I want? Why do I have so much stuff I "have" to do? Why does the world revolve around money? Why are apartments so expensive?

I think it's coming time for me to move out. I don't know why, I don't have any real problems at home. We have little arguments but nothing very serious. I just think it's time for me to be independent. At CBC I felt more independent, even though we had cooks, deans (babysitters), and a laundry list of rules and curfews. I just think it's time to move on. But, earning what I'm earning at Panera, and working as much as I am (which leaves little room for more shifts), I don't see how it is possible to pay for a rent of ... any amount. As it is, I make barely enough to pay my car insurance and my cell phone bill.

I'm just getting restless I guess. Waiting for the next big thing. I hate waiting. Except the movie Waiting, that's awesome