well, if you know me or if you read this, you know i've been in a huge spiritual funk for a long time. i've been in this funk since before i left for cbc. it made my year at cbc really hard and pretty crappy and i became pretty mad because i was in it, and mad at god for leaving me in it. i felt like he was ignoring me, and that i was doing everything i could to get out of it. it was a terrible place where i couldn't feel god or hear him or anything.
i went to CHIC hoping that something would happen. that anything would happen and that god would reach out and touch me. that is exactly what he did.
wednesday night was just an amazing time of worship at the 'main stage' we had every night. the worship was wonderful and the speaker was great. she said something that will come in to play in this story. she was talking about the last supper and how John laid his head on Jesus' chest. She said that she imagined them having fun and messing around, and said "i can just imagine Jesus tousling John's hair" (b/c John was the youngest, etc...). I can't even pinpoint what it was exactly, (the worship, the surroundings, the communion, or something else), but i just felt like i had to scream out to god in one last ditch cry. so i am sitting down, praying, crying out to him, asking him why i was alone and why he had left me, and why he was so far from me. it was right then that you friend Joe (who was standing and singing) tousled my hair. It was that moment that I had felt god for the first time in at least 9 months (probably more). It sent a shudder through my body and i just felt god. he spoke to me (i'm still trying to decipher what he really said to me) and i was left in awe.
so, in rachel cavanaugh fashion... "guess what?"
"God's real!"
And that's how I was found by God in an arena in Tennessee.
As for the rest of CHIC, I had a blast. The team I worked with was awesome, hilarious, fun, and generally good to work with. If you wanna know more, lemme know
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment